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Types of people on a dinner table

I have been planning to write this for a long time.

So basically you all would have observed that whenever you go out in a group for a dinner, there are always some specific kind of people and it's fun to observe the activities of these eclectic characters.

I will try to list a few based on my experience.

1) Who is in charge of maintaining the law and order
Let's start with this one person in each group who has considered this his topmost priority right from his birth. From placing the order to collecting the money from everyone, he has to make sure that the law and order is maintained throughout the process. He faces this obligation whenever the group goes out. This person often complaints that he has to do it everytime and publicly warns others that he is not going to do it in future. But everybody knows what's going to happen the next time they go out.


2) Who talks with only the adjacent person
This is the person who very rarely participates in the converstations going on at the table. Instead, he finds it more comfortable to start his own conversation or provide his opinion only to the person sitting adjacent to him. If the other guy is of the same boat, then they both don't care about what else is going on the table, otherwise it's a mismatch.

3) who just sits and oberves other people
This person doesn't give a fuck about what other people are talking. Rather, he enjoys observing everyone else and simply discards the requests of joining the conversation. For the same reason, this person is often accused of being boring and introvert, and as always, he doesn't care about this also.

4) who is there for just food
You will find this person participating actively in every conversation till the moment the food arrives. After that, the eyes of this person are raised from the plate only to ask the waiter for something else. This person believes that balanced diet means you have food in both your hands.

5) who is always on the phone
People often realise in the middle of dinner that this person has also joined them, when he occasionally raises his head to ask for something. This person's time is very valuable and he has more important things to do than gossiping with others on the table. At least he thinks the same.

6) who is the most sophisticated (bottled water, air condition and all)
This person in the group is often found to order bottled water instead of the regular one, and calulates the calory intake of a dish befor ordering it. The restaurant ought to be air conditioned when you are going out with this person. He claims to have more knowledge of fashion and culture than others.

7) who are centre of jokes 90% of the time.
There are usually one or two in the group who have to forcefully vounteer to be the centre of all jokes. They are usually tired of this and at this stage, they don't care about how are they being mocked. They sometimes want to take the credit for this, stating that because of them, there is so much happiness on the table.

8) who is always ready to try something new on the menu
 There is a person in the group who calls himself 'the foodie' and is always ready to try out new  dishes to prove his point. You may look not-so-happening to this person if you are used to order the  same dish every time.

9) On the contrast, there is a one who is there to have just his favourite dish. From the time of mughals, he has been having this dish regularly and you dare not question him about that.

10) Who takes bite from everyone's dish
Yes, there is this one person who can't digest his food if it doesn't come from all the plates on the table. This person often feels proud of himself that he has tasted all the dishes by paying for only one.
People often find him disgusting when he does this, but they know that speaking out what they feel is not going to have any effect.

11) whose volume is loud enough to be heard by the people sitting at a distance.
A distinct loud and not-so-pleasant sound is often heard from the group. This person often gets scolded by others for sharing the stories with 4 more tables in the restaurant, but it doesn't have any effect on him.

12) who is always at a time lag.
There's this person in the group who is always at a time lag with respect to the current conversation going on at the table. You can often find him requesting others to repeat all that was just discussed.


P.S. These are just the results of my own observations, and I am not critisizing any particular type of people here. So, bear with me if you can classify yourself into one of the categories and feel offended.


I am sure you'll observe these characteristics the next time you go out with a group.

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